Space Hippies

Every now and then when I get the chance, I like to check out the Star Trek Slash stories, which are amateur fiction stories that pair various characters from the Star Trek Universe - most often same sex - and then the writers tell stories where these characters have loving/sexual relationships. Kirk and Spock are favorites, although every combination is pretty much present. For the longest time I've been trying to find Wesley/Worf stories, but I think they just must be surpassing sick by so much that they're seldom written.

I can't say that I'm a real 'Trekkie' or 'Trekker' or any such. At best, I'm sort of borderline. I've seen some shows from every series depending on how easy they were to find because some of them (Enterprise for example) were on lesser networks, UPN, now CW I believe, and I just couldn't find them very reliably.

Anyways, it made me think. I can't recall seeing any openly gay characters on any of the Star Trek series. Definitely there weren't recurring ones, although, admittedly, I'm only a borderline Trekkie so there might be a lot I might have missed. Let me know if I'm wrong there.
I can think of two episodes of The Next Generation where it was addressed obliquely. In one Riker falls in love with an alien who is a hermaphrodite, but who can develop either way depending on circumstances. As I recall. So, Riker sort of falls for somebody who is or can be partially male.

Another Next Gen one that sort of addressed this was where Beverly falls for an ambassador who turns out to have a sentient parasite inside of him who is the actual 'person' she's in love with. (A Trill). After much drama the parasite is implanted into another host - a woman this time - and the parasite is quite puzzled why Beverly won't go for it, since 'he' is the same person.
The old Star Trek ... well, just forget it. Through the medium of Science Fiction and the use of heavy handed metaphor Star Trek addressed some of the burning issues of the day, but never it seems was Gay rights addressed. Or maybe they did and I just missed it.

One episode that might be a possible candidate is one where the crew takes on a group of six space hippies. The Space Hippies have stolen a space ship and the Enterprise apprehends them. Of course, the space hippies are all in a band playing out of this world instruments and they take over the Enterprise under the cover of a groovy rock concert. The music just sucks as it always does when fake musicians are part of the story line.

One of the space hippies might have been gay. That's my theory. This guy was wearing a mini-skirt, thigh high go-go boots, a cape and just a touch of tasteful make-up. He was also barechested with some real sexy hairy nipples. And he was real 'friendly' with the young male crewmen if you know what I mean.

In the internet slash universe what was really happening was that behind the scenes everybody was secretly bi-sexual - and how! Oh sure, Kirk was trying to deny his attraction to other men by having multiple romances with multiple hot alien women, but all along it was really Spock and only Spock. And Spock might have the occasional Pon Farr Sweetie but there was only one true love for him, also.

I've never heard that either actors who portrayed Kirk or Spock (Shatner and Nimoy) have publicly commented on the slash stories. They certainly must know about them, but here's a wild thought: Lots of actors are, in fact, gay and hiding the fact. William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy are actors. Do you see where I'm going with this? Is it beyond the realm of reason that two actors - who may be secretly gay, I'm not saying they are, but secretly they may be - in their younger experimental days might have engaged in the very activities that compose the fantasies of all those slash writers.

Okay, I know that's wild speculation. There's no evidence that either one of those men had had a loving or sexual relationships with each other (they are good friends, though).

On the other hand: They've never denied it.

Who is Big Foot?

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Without a doubt many Big Foot sightings are, in fact, guys in furry suits like my old college Room-mate Jed. People in the country get very, very bored and dressing up in ape suits to make people believe they're big foot is just one of the things they do to entertain themselves. Another thing, of course, is to drink lots and lots - which, come to think of it, might be another reason people tend to sight Big Foot way out in the country.

So, the number one explanation for Big Foot is: Fakery. And I think I hinted at number two, which would be hallucination or confabulation under the influence of something or other. Crystal Meth is pretty big around these parts so I'm guessing that on your third or fourth day awake with the Meth pipe you might see a lot of Big Feet (and elves and unicorns and hippies in the trees).

Third explanation is mistaken sightings. Something looked like Big Foot to you, like perhaps a bear or a big hairy hunter. Something. But not the 'real' Big Foot.

Number fout on my list is the one given by supposed psychic ghost-talker-to Sylvia Brown. She says that Big Foot is actually an Eastern entity called a 'Chulpa' which is a creature that starts in the mind but is made real through the act of conscious creation. Sounds pretty crazy to me, but I won't dismiss it out of hand. If you know anything about quantum physics you know about the uncomfortable relationship between consciousness/observation and reality. Personally, I think sub-atomic particles are actually Chulpas since quantum physisists look for them so hard, they ultimately create them. My theory, only.

Finally, last theory: There is a real Big Foot and he's really out there. Okay, I don't buy it. You'd think with all the sightings some hunters would eventually stumble onto a dead Big Foot sooner or later. Actually, you'd think they'd come back with Big Foot meat every single hunting trip. But they don't, do they?

Big Foot proponents say that this is because Big Feet bury their own dead. Well, you know what? Even the Mafia doesn't hide their bodies that well. You're saying that these huge clumsy Gorillas are better at it then they are? C'mon!