Psychic Turtle Hot-line

This wildlife specialist in Florida (Wild Lyle) has been on the news because it seems that the turtles in Florida have been laying their eggs especially high on the river banks and when this happens it inevitably means that it's going to be a rough hurricane season. My opinion of turtles that live in hugely hurricane prone areas is just about the same as people who live in those areas. Get out of there! Who told you that you had to live there in the first place? There are plenty of beautiful places in the US and nearby foreign countries wheregiant storms don't come by and blow your house away on a regular basis. Why don't you choose one of those? (However,'Tornado Alley', that ain't one of them. Stay away from there because that's not a good bet).

'Wild Lyle' went on to explain that the turtles are part of a phenomenon called 'animal premonition' and then he went on to give another example which was the tsunami in which many, many animals wereseen to be running for higher ground long before there was any other indication of the big wave. So far, the turtles seem to be spot on the money as there's a hurricane heading for Florida right this minute. The problem with 'animal premonition' is that, despite how well documented it is, it lacks a readily explainable physical cause. I suppose if pressed'Wild Lyle' would mumble something about magnetic fields as a cause, but c'mon, who are we kidding? No type of magnetic field willpredict the entire hurricane season and not even the smartest turtle can read a magnetic field.

Everybody who's had a pet knows that it's read their mind at one time or another. Maybe you wanted to explain it as your pet reading your body language or something like that, but in your heart of hearts you knew, that creature saw right through you. There have been studies done on this, so you don't have to take my word for it or even your own experience.

How this affects the Apocalypse: I said this before: God likes animals. Why else would he be giving them special tip-offs about natural disasters that are going to wipe out all the humans nearby? I don't know about you, but if I see all the animals running towards the hills, I'm putting on my tennies and I'll be heading off, too.