Quo Vadis Astrology?

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Http://www.lulu.com/abeautifulcow Ive been a bit confused and maybe somebody who knows astrology can help me out on this: Now that the astronomical association has been debating what's a planet and what's not, how does that affect the practice of astrology?

Not so long ago, I was looking up my daily horoscope on Yahoo. Whoever their astrologer is, he really sucks. He gets real technical about which planet is going into which house and really obscure stuff like that and I don't think anybody cares. People just want to know if it's a good day to buy Pizza, or whatever your concern is. Anyways, this guy mentioned that the asteroid Vespa was doing something or other and I thought about that.

The ancients who invented astrology for sure did not know that there was a big hunk of rock out there named Vespa. Neither did they know about Pluto or Neptune of any of the other bodies out there that figure into modern day astrology. Were their astrological readings horribly off because they weren't correctly accounting for these unknown bodies?

The astronomy association is split on what should or should not be a planet. Right now it looks like if it's round, it orbits the sun, and it's not somebody else's moon it's going to be a planet. The problem is that they've since discovered other bodies that fit that definition and we could end up having as many as twelve or more planets. So, what it looks like they're going to do is come up with a category of second class planets which Pluto would be demoted to.

The new class of second class planets would be called Dwarf planets or perhaps planetoids. The term 'Pluton' has already been thrown around, but no astronomer much liked the idea except for the one who came up with it.

One of the new possible planets would be called Xena and is located out in the Oort Cloud and is larger than Pluto and it's moon Charon. There may, in fact, be many such types of bodies out there and who knows? There might be ones as big as the Earth or bigger. Why shouldn't there be?

Do astrologers have some similar association as the astronomical association? And how do they affect each other? The astronomers don't believe that astrologers exist even though the astrologers were the orginal astronomers. I think the astronomers want to disassociate themselves from their roots on this one. But quite clearly the astrologers do asknowledge the astronomers as witnessed by my yahoo astrologer. I think they want to cover themselves as much as possible with the stink of science, if they can.

It's always been a sore point between the two how exactly the planets or planetoids or dwarf planets or asteroids effect our daily lives. It's not gravity or magnetism or anything that's measurable, but nonetheless whether we like it or not, they still might. Just think about centrifugal force. Doesn't that exist because there is something far away and scientists are at a loss to explain that one. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to check my daily horoscope. But not at Yahoo, because that guy sucks.


**You might have noticed that I've highlighted a number of words. I'm seeing if that increases my hit count. Frankly, I don't think it will. But if you got to this through a search engine: Please read my books. They're very entertaining.**

Waiting for Godot and MidEast Peace

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I've noticed that I've been getting these spam e-mails with these brilliantly obscure tag-lines which make me click in just to see what they may be. Also, these messages will have a word salad at the bottom - I'm guessing to attract the search engines in case somebody just happens to type in some of the obscure listed words.

Well, hey! Two can play at that game, can't they? So, you will find at the bottom of this entry some of the afore-mentioned word salad that I copied directly off of my spam. Feel free to ignore it and if you did happen to be looking for information on: beggar girls in non-Tuscan Badger boats, I apologize. I'm sorry I tricked you, but now that you're here please read on. This will so much be worth your while.

I was taught the existentialist play Waiting for Godot three different times in college at Minnesota in three different classes. Each time I learned a different perspective on the play, in other words in each of these classes I learned a different way it sucks. If you don't know the play, you don't want to know it. It is a play about 'waiting' (well, duh) where a couple of bums stand around a tree talking, then some other people and a pig come by and they talk. End of Act I. The bums talk around the tree some more, the people and the pig come by and they talk. Godot, who they are all waiting for, never shows up. End of Act II. Brilliant! It's brilliant because between Act I and Act II a leaf from the tree (which is symbolically the tree of life) falls. Amazing! Do you see it? Do you see how incredible that is?

Well, three different professors at Minnesota did and I got to benefit from their insight. Anyways, it's not an entertaining play. Go see Spamalot! if you can. That's an entertaining play, this just isn't and never will be even if it has Robin Williams in it. He's a Julliard trained actor and his judgement of what's good isn't always the best (Patch Adams, Centerniel Man).

The last time was at a Humanities class that I never had much respect for. It was one of those liberal arts distribution requirements (Generals, they're also called) and I was taking it because I had to. As I recall, I signed up for this at the end of two weeks, so I don't know what was taught during those first two weeks and combined with not having any respect for the class I pulled out a 'D-'. A 'D-' that counted towards graduation, thank you, so it was worth my time and the grade didn't pull my GPA down much because it didn't have too far to fall.

One of the books I had to read was by entymologist (bug doctor) E.O. Wilson who theorized that humans, like every other animal, do things for the sole purpose of spreading our particular genes. And suppressing everybody else's genes, natch. This is much like the bugs do, and E. O. Wilson drew parallels between human beings and bugs and other creatures. One of the comparisons was in Religion. You didn't know ants have religion? According to E. O. Wilson they do. He didn't specify who or what they worship, but if I had to guess I would say their God must be a combination of sugar and poo.

Religion in this scenario is the mechanism for species to act to benefit other creatures who share their genepool when such actions might not benefit the individual of the species. Aha! Now we get to the MidEast. What are suicide bombers doing? They're killing themselves to benefit (how, I'm not sure) others who share their gene pool (Arabs) while eliminating those who do not share their genepool (Jews).

One of the symptoms of Temporal Lobe Epilepsy is religious ecstacy or excessive religiousity. The neurologist belief that this is because the area of the brain that is responsible for processing that area of human experience is overly stimulated. Neurologically, they are creating the feelings of religiousity through their disease. Neurologists say that, I don't.

It would hard to believe that God truly has told the Muslims that they should have the Holy Land while telling the Jews the same thing. He's got a sick sense of humor if he did. And if he really did tell one side that they were his true one and only, how come he never bothered to tell the other side that they weren't the chosen ones? I'm excepting all the Christians here because our possession of the Holy Land was pretty brief before we were sent packing with our templars between our legs.

So, after asking themselves that question each side should ask themselves this: God (or Allah) set the Arabs and the Jews both on the Earth for a reason. He's probably angry that he's being thwarted when they insist on taking each other off of the planet. God must have had a purpose for each one of his creatures and it wasn't to stand in front of a bomb.

Okay. Here's the word salad. Enjoy.

beggar girl Non-tuscan honey badgerboat crane tax list by-timeself-inclusive addition axiom Four-powersoft-throbbing summer tanager nibby-jibbyround-edged wall cabbage wonder-excitingdoor spring scroll front argan oildivision sign brush cherry white-barredself-dispatch axle seat heat spotslender-ankled power relay courtesy lightsuave-looking prosecution-proof popcorn flowerMoor-lipped Labrador feldspar half sistertongue worm pony grass grass-carpetedall fives viridine yellow oat grindertail bay knob-billed gazelle brownrate-raising till alarm flame-hairedheaven-sweet grass plover layer cake

The Solution to Mid-East Peace

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The Prime Minister of Iran has just enunciated the way to peace in the Middle East and it's so simple and easy that I've been slapping my forehead all day long. The answer is: The total eradication of Israel. Now, how come no one thought about this one before? It's so easy. Four million human beings need to disappear off of the planet and the problem is solved. There might be some technical bugs to iron out on this one, like how do we get a heavily armed and combat ready nation to agree with this - but I'm sure that Ahmadeenajad et al. already have those little glitches solved.

But I wonder ... if you look at it that way: Wouldn't the total eradication of Iran and Syria work just as well? All that would be required is that you take Iran and Syria's plans for Israel, cross out the word 'Israel' and substitute those two nations and Voila! There you have it. Peace in the Middle East. And I'm sure Iran and Syria would think it's fair since that's what they had planned for Israel and sauce for the goose and such.

It does kind of amaze me that the Prime Minister of Iran did say this in all seriousness. Arab nations don't understand why the United States won't sign onto genocide and religious extremism. After all, both have been part of our history so we must look like quite the hypocrites after our country was founded courtesy of the native populations on two continents pretty much disappearing. However, most of native Americans (North and South) did perish because of infectious diseases spread by Europeans and not by active aggression and slaughter. I know, they're just as dead and that might be a distinction without a difference. Still ...

The Arab argument, as I understand it, is that the Arabs should control the lands that they acquired during the Mulim age of conquests. Therefore, since the Jews and Christians who were occupying the Holy land when they were conquered don't belong there, because the Moslems got rid of them and it should be theirs. That goes for parts of Spain, too, by the way, which partially explains the Spanish train bombings.

The sticky argument always comes down to who was there first, and you know what? It kind of doesn't matter. You have to deal with who's there now. They might have gotten there by shifty dealings and naked aggression, but they aren't going to leave no matter how guilty you make them feel. Where are they going to go, after all?

Think about America. Columbus came and brought disease and slavery to the New World and I can for see how that could be considered a raw deal. Yes, I sure feel guilty about what some people who sort of look like me did five hundred years ago and for pretty much ever after that. And you know what? I'm not going anywhere and neither is anyone else who sort of looks like me.

I wish Israel would stop beating the crap out of Lebanon because I just filled up my gas tank not too long ago. My sympathies are all with them since I don't believe your attacker has the right to dictate to you how you choose to defend yourself from their aggression. If you want somebody off the planet, tell them so, then take actions to make it happen can they really be blamed for wanting you off the planet, also? I don't think so.

Hezbollah and Israel is that Hezbollah is targeting civilians purpose and Israel inadvertantly. Yes, you're still just as dead no matter what was in the heart of the person who sent the bomb that killed you. So, Israel may be slowly disappearing off of the face of the Earth but my money is still on them and if any country leaves the planet it won't be them - at least not with a few others leading the way.