Sick Day

Here's the thing: We all know that there's a certain amount of discretion in the use of a sick day. I could've made it to work today if somebody had put a gun to my head. Perhaps, I would not be at all productive, but I could have done it if it was that important.

After all, you say, Steve is well enough to sit at a computer and type, doesn't that mean that he should be well enough to sit at his desk and do whatever it is that he does? Well ... not really. But I still feel a bit guilty, a bit unmanly. Conan would have made it to his job, wouldn't he have?
Am I less manly than Conan the Barbarian?

Wait, wrong question.

Anyways, the flu's been going around the office and it's my turn.

I spent a lot of my time today flat on my back playing Resident Evil 4 - Awesome Game! That is: it's awesome after you get through it at least once and have the special Infinite Rocket Launcher. Once you have the infinite Rocket Launcher you can cruise through pretty much any situation. The one exception is that you can't kill the bad guys if they're too close to you, otherwise you get a lot of backflash and it takes a whole bunch of your life away.

Before this, I would get stuck at certain points and give up for days or weeks. The problem was never knowing what to do - there are cheats and walkthroughs for that - the problem is doing what you have to do. Situations that require quickness, dexterity and coordination just stymie me. For example: At the very end of the game there's a point where the huge boss is attacking you and eyes pop open on various parts of this creatures anatomy and you have to shoot the eye before it closes again then run up to the boss and stab at a parasite on its back.

Oh, that's just hellish and I almost gave up at that point, because I'd done almost the entire game and there was nothing left to see after that, so what was the point? At best I would win myself a long cut-scene and that's it. I gave up on Resident Evil Dead Aim before finishing the final boss which was a huge creature with heads popping in and out of it's body and you had to shoot those before it got to you. I never could do that.

Resident Evil 4 has a complicated plot (and that's stretching the word, believe me) and some hilariously mistranslated dialogue. At various points the villains - about five of them, I think - will have you cornered in a cut-scene at their mercy, then ... just walk off. For no reason. And speaking of dialogue there's only one way any line is delivered: sarcastically. And all the villains giggle when they do something diabolical - of course. The hero really should have more of a sense of humor about this all.

Never mind, the plot holes are many and ridiculous and that's not why this game is awesome. It's awesome because of the graphics. If I could just go through this world and look around I think it would be a great game. The monsters jumping out at you are even kind of a distraction but now with all my weapons at max and the infinite rocket launcher I'm running out of room in my satchel.

Oh, and please buy my books. They're really wonderful and you can get to them just by clicking on the link to the right ... go ahead ... try it out.

See how easy it is.