Deer Season

(my books are at:
http://www.lulu.com/abeautifulcow) or Amazon. Check them out when you have time. You can get signed copies on Amazon, by the way)

I was woken by the sound of gun-fire this morning, which made me wonder to myself what it's like to be living in one of those dangerous big cities. Of course, I did live in Minneapolis when it was the most murder-prone area of the country and had the title: 'Murder-apolis'. Somehow, I always still felt safe and wasn't murdered or otherwise assaulted or killed. In fact I never even locked my door. That went for my useless car, too. None of my room-mates locked their cars either, so that led to the only sort-of crime we encountered. One night some dangerous criminal shuffled all of the loose objects from one car to another so that one person's sneakers and change had been moved into another and so on.

Horrors! Even then nobody locked their doors because we weren't so concerned about this happening again. The cars themselves? Forget it! These weren't valuable cars, folks. For awhile I even had the title for mine (an '86 Renault Alliance) in the front seat. I wanted to just get it gone out of my parking lot and my attempts to give the damn thing were frustrated. It kind of started but not reliably and people have standards even for free cars.

The deer population is a bit overpopulated at the moment so if you don't get one (you're allowed three) then you're a real yutz as a hunter. My take on this, since I don't hunt. I just hide in my house and hope I don't get shot. This came about because there was chronic wasting disease and for years there were restrictions allowing the population to grow almost out of control. Deer are hunted during their rut, which means they're all of them out looking for a piece of tail (literally) and just don't care about orange people nearby carrying guns. Or, if they aren't looking for a piece of tail, they're bucks looking for a fight. That's one of the ways you can get one, by the way, you just rub two sets of antlers together and any nearby bucks think there's a fight going on and they want to get in on the action.