What the Beep?

**My new novel, Rexroi, is on-line. Click on 'Free Chapters of an upcoming novel on the right sidebar. It's the whole novel, I just haven't bothered to change the link words**

At work a couple of my co-workers have had certain of their computer programs updated so that now, when they make certain keyboad errors, it will beep at them. And it beeps in a way they don't like at all, apparently; they've sure been complaining about it engough. I'm not certain whether the actual sound bothers them, or just the fact that it's continually pointing out their mistakes to them is the problem. My helpful suggestion that they can eliminate these beeps by not doing things wrong has not been received well by either of them.

But it made me wonder. Who decides? For example, in this instance why was it seen as an improvement to have these particular 'negative' beeps -- hereafter referred to as 'dysbeeps' -- added as an upgrade to the program? Was it perhaps discovered that without the dysbeeps there were too many errors, but the addition of dysbeeps improved things? I don't know.

But the point is: somebody had to decide -- and who was that? Have you ever thought about how much your life is controlled by these beeps? When you get up in the morning your alarm clock beeps at you doesn't it? When you put your car key in the ignition, what does it do? That's right -- beeps. Seatbelt not fastened? Door opened? Gas low? Beep, beep and beep. When you're at work your computer is constantly coaxing you or stalling you with good beeps (eubeeps) or the aforementioned dysbeeps. At home your stove or microwave oven beeps when you cook your food, and so on all through the day until you go to bed and set your beeping alarm clock to wake you up the next day.

Is there one Beepmaster who decides for the entire world, or is it done by multiple corporate committees of the most important people in the World? In my own mind I imagine there is one and only one Beepmaster and I will now reveal to you who that is.

It's Bill Gates. Who else?

Bill Gates the creator and marketer of computers across the world is the one who decides. The wealthiest and techiest billionaire dictates what sounds will run our lives, of course. He sits on his throne in his gloomy castle with a special orchestra to create the actual sounds that constitute the beeps, but I also believe that he has teams of neuroscientists to accurately measure the effects that they have on the brains of their subjects. Perhaps the neuroscientists even make suggestions about more effective beeps.

It goes further than this. The beeps are doing more than merely encouraging or discouraging us from certain actions, they are also programming us. The process is subconscious and subliminal but it is there and it's affecting every single one of us. One day Bill Gates will flip a switch and a pre-arranged series of beeps will sound from every computer in the world and we will all march out into the streets to do his bidding - except for people with hearing problems. They'll just wonder what everyone else is doing.