Possum in the Garage

**My New novel, REXROI, is posted on line, now. Use the sidebar where it says: 'Upcoming Chapters'. It's the whole novel. Really. By the way, if anyone knows Seth Green, there's a really great part for him in this, assuming it were adapted to a screenplay - which it isn't - that's a lot of work, and I'm not going to do it. Unless Seth asks me to ***

I've recently noticed that I have a possum in my garage and I'm not sure whether I should be happy about this or not. I know I used to have a woodchuck there, and I was alright with that. I even named my woodchuck (Woody). My woodchuck used to live under the stacks of wood I have for my fireplace and I don't know now if he moved out and was displaced by the possum or if I have both a possum and a woodchuck in my garage like some sort of Disney movie. Do these two species get along or are they like some sort of implacable foe?

I don't know. The woodchuck I didn't mind so much because he was cute, just furry and fat and fun. Possums? Well, they are furry and kind of fat, but the problem is that tail. It's long and hairless and that's rather rat-like if you ask me. I don't want any relatives of rats hanging around my neighborhood bringing down our property values.

What's the problem with having these varmints living so close to me? Well, as I said, I'm mostly okay with it. However, I'm told that they chew things. The woodchuck does the wood, of course. Fortunately he left me plenty, so I don't see why he and I can't share that, after all, the woods are full of wood and there's plenty where that came from. I'm not sure what possums chew on, probably wood also so the same argument holds for it as for the woodchuck. The possum and the woodchuck also might have Rabies, but I don't think that's likely and if either one bites me - hopefully - I'll be smart enough to get a Rabies shot.

I must say, I do have a little bit of interest in eating that possum. Every since the Beverly Hillbillies I've wondered. Granny, I recall, used to cook up a lot of possum (where was she getting it in California?) and all the fancy people turned their nose up at it, while Jed and his kinfolk just loved it. There must be a reason for that. You know, I'll bet it's actually pretty tasty. Now, I don't have any active plan to make the possum my dinner, live and let live, but if someone put a plate of possum roast in front of me: I'd try it. Wouldn't you?

I try to be a good host for my varmints. Sure, they moved in uninvited but now this is their home. You have to look at things from their perspective. Here they have this nice place with lots of wood to chew on and a couple of times per day this huge giant (me) comes in and disturbs their day with his gas spewing vehicle and his noisy tromping about, taking their nice wood and burning it up.

How would you like it? What would you think if a couple times per day a troll just walked into your house and took your furniture and burned it outside? Even worse, what if this troll even is thinking about eating you? See, that's what they have to put up with and that's why I'm so patient with them. It's got to be hard for them.